Why are we paying people to sit in spaces that cost more per square foot than an Apple Store in Chelsea so they can eat, read, drop popcorn and stare open-mouthed at prospective customers? Just as you wouldn’t sit in yourReal Office  lobby deep in a book while customers waited to see you. The Fuc*ing Popcorn: How many times a year does your company throw popcorn on the floor of the Real Office lobby and invite customers in to drop more? Just back from my first two trade shows of the season, and I am sad. So why is there so little selling? Exactly. And MORE >>

They will expect me to care that they have successfully offended 80% of their customers  or harvested the Q2 crop of trinkets. Oh, goody. My LinkedIn connection, Diana, just endorsed my skills in marketing strategy. Yesterday Sylvie gave me a thumbs-up on my team-building expertise, and last week Martin endorsed me as the corporate communications guru I imagine myself to be.  Self-esteem is running high, which means self-doubt can’t be far away. An interesting side-note is that Martin invariably endorses me a day or so after we disagree about something in a board meeting. That’ll be fun. MORE >>

As tempting as it is to send your CEO away to camp for a week, wouldn’t you  much rather he came home with a sunburn, three painted rocks and rather fewer clothes than a deep understanding of how to engage your customers one-on-one using his Twitter account? How many of your customer care, technical support and sales numbers ring to your CMO’s house? They  need 2B txtng our customers and building relationships and putting that human face on our company that it so badly needs.  They don’t have to care about a customer’s crappy experience with their product or service. MORE >>

So why oh why oh why does this ridiculous idea that brands now “belong” to customers continue to circulate?  People like Christopher Carfi get up on their social media horsies and deliver tripe like this: You Don’t Own Your Brand – Your Customer Does.  They let Vanity Fair   (how many of their  editors are GAP customers?) If you’re losing sleep wondering if your customers are out there throwing a tennis ball for your brand when you’re not home, don’t. Who owns your brand? Hint: The same person who owns your dog. Stop looking around. It’s you. Not so many. MORE >>

Customer collaboration over contract negotiation. I have a new hero. His name is Frank and he had the best idea I’ve heard in years. Last Thursday morning I had the great privilege to speak at BtoB Magazine’s NetMarketing Breakfast in Boston. Frank Days from Novell and also of the t angyslice blog was speaking and his topic, way more interesting than mine, was on the notion of applying Agile methodologies to marketing. If you haven’t met Agile yet, it has its roots in software development going back to 2001. Click here for the full story. Responding to change ove r following a plan. MORE >>